Chapter 11 talks about collaborative conflict resolution as being the same as a consensus. “Consensus requires carefully defining the issues; discussing group-process strategies for communication; agreeing on the parameters of a good solution; being open, careful, and considerate, listening to all perspectives; and be willing to take the time and energy needed to forge solutions from the best parts of the perspective offered.” (Harris, 2008, pg. 232)
When I was on the volleyball team in high-school, we often had to use collaborative conflict resolution. To avoid negativity and remain as a close team, it was important for us to be considerate, open, careful, and come to a consensus. Although I did not always enjoy these conflict resolution sessions because I really wanted to just play volleyball, this actually did help to effectively solve many conflicts.
Competitive conflict is much different. Unlike collaborative conflict’s win-win orientation, competitive has a win-lose orientation. This is a very destructive and self-seeking method. I use this method sometimes when arguing with my boyfriend. I know this is not something to be proud of but it is unfortunately true. I sometimes have the “get the last word” mentality which causes a win-lose situation.
At the end of the day the most satisfying strategy to me is the collaborative conflict resolution. Although I do like to be right I know that I am not always, and it is best to be more open, positive and productive. I know that my teammates as well as my boyfriend would much rather use this strategy instead of the competitive conflict.
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Hi Pocahontas, I liked your entry. I can relate to your insight on the collaborative resolution within a volleyball or other sports team because I also played sports. I didn't even think of sports teams using collaborative resolution because being on a team is so competitive. My experience being on teams is that we used competitive conflict...There always seemed to be politics on the teams I was involved in and someone was always fighting to be on the court, or in the best position. I wish we would have used the collaborative method.
ReplyDeleteHi Ppat,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your blog. I can relate to you when you said you use the competitive conflict resolution method when you arguing with your boyfriend. When we are arguing with our significant others, we start to think the “win or lose” matters the most and lets admit it, we all want to win. Sometimes we are not aiming to solve the problems or the conflicts, we just want to win this argument. We all know that this is not the way to resolve problems but it is sad that we use this method all the time. I think we all need to learn to be more collaborative and use this method to resolve our problems.
-Sogo